Thursday, April 3, 2008

Signing on to the Virtual Bar Scene

Thank you so much for all the online dating advice. I’ve received several inquiries as to my success/failure in the virtual bar scene so I thought I’d send a tale of one of the more entertaining adventures.

After much debate a few hours photo-shopping some pictures at work I decided I would venture into the online bar scene. I signed up for match.com for a month and decided it wasn’t quite my scene….very competitive. It seems I missed the memo about needing professional head shots to post with my online dating profile. With the 26th Birthday looming I decided, new month – new website! eHarmony here I come.

A mere 2 hours later my ‘Personality Profile’ was complete and it was up to Dr. Warren to do the rest. A dozen or so emails from men in Dubai looking for wives, shut-ins, and your basic freaks, I was having some doubts and started making a list of names for my inevitable herd of cats I seemed destine to acquire.

Towards the end of my ’30 Day Trial Membership’ I received an email from a seemingly normal guy who is currently employed and living in Greenwich. Much to my amazement and relief, he didn’t seem to fit in the three aforementioned categories.

We followed what I’m assuming is the proper on-line dating protocol and emailed back and forth and decided we should progress to the ‘next-level’ – the phone call. I agreed to give him call when got home one night. I am about to make the call and something doesn’t feel right. I need a glass of wine first…ok, you’re right it was 2 glasses.

The phone call went surprisingly well and we decide to meet up. I had thrown out a couple of ideas of things to do and he finally comes back and says, “how about the central park zoo?” Are you kidding me? You know my feelings towards animals and I don’t need to remind any of you about my failed attempt at being a pet owner. Not wanting to come off as completely cold-hearted I respond, “That sounds great. I’ll meet you at Grand Central Station at 1pm.”

Prior to the meet up I need all the proper pre-date stalking, googling, myspace page searching, ect. Everything checked out so I was ready to go. Ooops, I kinda forgot to tell anyone I was going out with a complete stranger and Patty’s not home. So I left her a note that read something like this….


Hey Patty,

I’m off to meet up with some boy I met on the internet. If I don’t make it home, please call the police and tell my parents I love them very much. Here’s all my info incase the police need to be contacted.

JoanneE.
Age: 25 Birthday 7/28
Goal Weight: 135lbs
Height: 5’2”
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown

Mom’s Cell – 703-123-4567
Dad’s Cell – 703-234-5678
Home -814-123-4567
Employer: 212-123-4567


It’s 1pm the Saturday before Easter and I’m standing in the middle of Grand Central Station. What if I don’t recognize this guy and go up to a complete stranger? Ack! Just moments before the panic attack hits and I contemplate running home, I hear, ‘Hey Joanne.’ Relief…and oh he’s even better looking in person.


We spent the afternoon at the Central Park Zoo and walked the entire west side of Manhattan. For dinner we just stopped a cute little bar & grill pace where we had some burgers and no beer. Yes, that’s right folks; the entire day-date has been completely sober! I think my last 100% sober date or just any Saturday in general, could have been back in high school. In all honesty it did cross my mind to mix myself up a bloody mary or a double vodka-soda before meeting up but since it was still before noon I restrained myself.

After dinner we head back to Grand Central exchange the usually ‘Had a great time/Let’s do it again’ and say goodbye with a solid hug. Hmm….I wonder if I’ll ever hear from him? Eh, it’s time for a glass of wine. Well get this, he actually called later that night saying what a nice time he had!

We chit-chatted throughout the week and decide to meet up on Sunday for a movie. We rendezvoused at Grand Central Station on Sunday. Whoops, I was running late because I got side tracked in the gourmet grocery store that is connected to the terminal.

We saw '21' - the movie about the MIT gambling students. Of course it made me think by the end of the movie I could be the next card shark to break the Vegas house. This also leads us to the topic of Vegas vacations. Uh-oh. I tell him the story of how I told these guys in Vegas my friend had a glass eye and when she gets drunk it wonder and in hopes of catching a glimpse at a wondering glass eye, the poor fools ended up buying us drinks all night. Mid story I start to think, ‘Hmm….perhaps these stories are more 3rd date material.’ Luckily I got control of my verbal diarrhea before and more appropriate conversations were had.

Post-movie we started our quest for dinner. When it comes to food I'm up for anything. If I can't pronounce it, I want to try it. So I left restaurant choice up to him. We walked from 31st Street to 54th Street and back to 45th Street. We must have passed two dozen restaurants. Once we turned around and started back down the other side of the street, I was starting to get cranky. We literally passed, pubs, French restaurants, Italian restaurants, fish restaurants, Turkish restaurants, sushi restaurants, pizza restaurants at all price points. I even thought I'd be the easy-going girl and threw out, 'why don't we just grab a beer and appetizer at a bar'. No Dice. Finally he says he's knows a Chinese restaurant in time square. I cringe but say, ok. And we head into tourist trap central. We make a big loop while he gets his bearings and at the point he realized the place is not longer there. He apologizes for the goose chase and says the choice is in my hands. We're standing in the middle of time square and all the fluorescent lights from the TGI Friday's are blinding me, I can't think. Then in the middle of Manhattan, culinary capital of the east coast, land of approximately 1 bazillion restaurants, he suggests....The Olive Garden! – CRINGE - I ended up going with it and enjoyed my bottomless bowl of salad and breadsticks.
I hate to say it, but the Olive Garden could be a deal breaker?

Your thoughts?

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*Follow up note - I decided not to let the Olive Garden dinner selection be a deal breaker. We have gone out again since but the restaurant selection has been left up to me.

2 comments:

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