Monday, January 4, 2010

Being Single is Tough - and may cause bruising

No one will argue that dating is rough, dating in New York can be brutal and if you are as clumsy as I, it occasionally causes bodily injury.

After spending the holidays at home in a small town in North-Western-Central-PA I came back to New York to ring in the New Year. Feeling rejuvenated and perhaps optimistic that my dating drought may have come to an end, I accepted date with a rather nice fellow.

Not ready to re-squeem so soon after the NYE celebration, I opted for a low cut dress to help balance out my expanding “side effects” of Cookie-Palooza ’09. Although I stand at a commanding 5 feet 2 ½ inches, I can’t help but like the tall boys and opt for my highest sequined-heeled party shoes.

The plan was to meet for drinks (conveniently in my neighborhood) on Saturday night. Needing to replenish my cash flow I hit up the ATM on may way. As I pulled out my card I notice something might be missing. After taking a quick inventory I realize I no longer have my driver license. Hmm…. I know I had it on New Year’s Eve but that was three days ago!?! As I re-bundled and continued on towards the dark bar to meet up with stranger I met on the Internet with no form of personal identification I start brainstorming of people I would like to play me in Law & Order's adaptation of my life.

The actual date goes well and as we wrap things up, I’m thinking I may have kept my verbal diarrhea at bay and perhaps my socially awkwardness may be subsiding in 2010. By the time we finish our last drink the temperature was a blustery -42 degrees. He walks me back to my apartment and to avoid frost I’m practically jogging. Then out of nowhere I go down. To say ‘I tripped’ would be a bit of an understatement - I bit it, ate concrete, face planted, took a digger, nose dived into cement.

I took a few seconds to regain my composure and did a quick assessment to ensure all my appendages were still in place. Once I made it back to my feet I realized my knee caps were burning. I looked down to see my opaque black tights were shredded at the knees. I decided the thing to do would be to laugh it off and say, “I hope you are looking for a girl who is resilient.” (Don’t judge – you try and come up with some witty to say post face planting on frozen concrete)

The next morning I popped some aspirin but for once it was not for a hangover induced headache but for my battered knee caps and ego.

Photo of injuries below – Warning it's not pretty