What is worse, an apathetic married friend or realizing even the self help books are discouraging when it comes to dating in NYC?
Passive Aggressive Soup for Valentines Day but recently while having dinner among mixed company (i.e. single and married friends), I found myself taken aback by the absolutely terrible (and trite) dating advice the married friends were giving to a single friend. In fact, this article was the only worst dating advice I have come acrros.
The conversation started when Single Friend says, “Where should I go to meet single guys?”
I offered some support by suggesting we order another round of drinks but before I could signal the waiter, my married friends chime in with:
Married Friend #1, “Maybe you should go to more happy hours.”
Married Friend #2, “Or volunteer!”
Icarumba! I bit my tongue. As someone who has ‘been there, done that,’ those ideas = FAIL.
Married “Maybe you should go to more happy hours” Friend #1:
Creditability Loss: You met your husband in college and therefore have been out of the game for way too long. There is no comparing dating in college when your 21 to dating on the mean streets of NYC when your…errr..not so close to 21.
Bad Idea Why: It just doesn’t work. I love a good happy hour, especially if it starts right after lunch, but give me one example of a relationship that started during happy hour that lasted more than 18 hours.
Married “Maybe you should volunteer!” Friend #2
Creditability Loss: Has never volunteered a day in her life.
Bad Idea Why: Chances are the people you will be volunteering along side will most likely be other single women. According to the US Government National Service website 32.4 percent of women volunteer, compared with 25 percent of men. So, if by the some stroke of luck there is a semi-attractive and employed single man who is over the age of 21 volunteering beside you, the competition is going to fierce!
As much as I appreciate a married friend’s attempt to empathize when it comes to being single sometimes you would just like to hear them say, ‘Yeah, dating can really sucks and I got lucky.”