Thursday, April 1, 2010

Adolescent Reprise

My adolescent life was pretty easy going. “Stress” was worrying if my soccer uniform was clean and if show choir performances would overlap with student council meetings. My braces were off before starting high school, my skin was relatively clear and sunglasses were worn for the sole purpose of accessorizing. Now as I enter my ‘late twenties’ I seem to reprising my adolescents but like the chicken pox, the second time around is much more painful.

Maybe it was muscle memory for my pores but from the moment I received my Student ID last year my skin decided to break out. When my adult acne proved to be no match for the most aggressive drug store bought acne scrubs, astringents, and masks it was time to get serious. George Bush had his ‘War on Terror’ well the second half of 2009 I waged my own ‘War on Acne’ and desperately hoping for a more successful outcome. Three orders of Pro-Active, two prescriptions, four vitamin supplements, five semi-bleached t-shirts [1] and 10 months later I am finally seeing some progress.

Mid-war I found myself in the dentist chair for my regular check up. Our one sided conversation took an unpredicted turn when instead saying, ‘rinse and spit’ it was “have you considered getting braces again?” Excuse me? Braces? Been there done that! As he went on to point out all my dental flaws I was beginning to agree that I could benefit from 12 months of adult braces.[2]

Was all the added personal maintenance cutting into my sleep? It was getting harder and harder to keep my eyes focused on the computer during the workday. It wasn’t until I was out to dinner and realized I could barely read the wine list that I decided to take action. The next morning I made an appointment at my local Lens Crafters.

I use to boast that a vision test was the only test I could pass on the first time so I had no idea what to expect for my first eye exam outside of a public school or DMV office. I was pleasantly surprised by how quick it was and halfway through the exam I begin to think, ‘gee this eye doc is kinda cute.’ Then it occurred to me that maybe I should hold off on the googlely eyes until I find out how askew my vision really is.

A week later I picked up my first pair spectacles. I wore them around the apartment that evening and was shocked to see how dirty our bathroom mirror was and… Dear lord! my eyebrows were atrocious! It took me a few days to get over my ‘Stephanie Tanner’ complex [3] but eventual they made their office debut.


After finishing the above post I decided to take a little afternoon break and ventured into Sephora. Looking to kill some I time I accepted the overly eager sale ASSociate’s offer to help me find a new foundation. Before even asking if I preferred powder or cream foundation she aggressively points out my apparent need for under eye wrinkle cream. That definitely did happen when I was 13. Perhaps my next post will titled, ‘mid-twenties to middle-aged?’

[1] Despite Pro-Active’s peroxide’s bleaching power it proved to be no mach for adult acne
[2] As soon as the total cost was revealed they no longer seemed as necessary
[3] Remember? Season 4 Episode 16 – “Stephanie Gets Framed” Fearing that she will soon become the blunt of her classmates' jokes, Stephanie experiences a typical reaction to her first pair of glasses.


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